My Past Life
Introduction: Hearing about past life experiences and regression might push the limit of what people may be willing to believe. If you are one of those people who would categorically deny the idea of reincarnation then now may be a good time look for something more appropriate to read. I thought for a long time whether I should write about this topic or not. When I started this Blog I promised myself to be as brutally honest as I can. And the experiences I have had [...]
“Those who still think that listening isn’t an art should see if they can do it half as well.” Michael Ende, Momo It is tough work to go through a mentally difficult time. My struggle with being transgender lasted many years, it is still a work in progress, but one can manage it if there are supportive people around. I do and I am thankful for it. That wasn’t always the case before I came out. One of the main problems of battling with my transgender [...]
I have been on feminizing hormone therapy for 10 months. How much has my body changed?
Overcompensation storytime, part 2
I finally got around to do part two of my "Overcompensation Story time". In this part I tell a bit how it was like to be working on the cattle station in the Australian Outback. In my attempt to "outmacho" myself I finally reached my limit with this adventure. I had two events which made me clear I should not push my luck any further. The first one was when a colleague of mine sent me, by accident or not, into the wrong direction and I [...]
Rescue of the girl from the dungeon
I am a very visual person. All thoughts play out like a movie in my head. It took me years to understand this language. And I am still learning it. It was mostly thanks to studying the works of mythologist Joseph Campbell who made me understand my inner language. He says myths are metaphors, images that stand for something. He said that if you want to understand your inner life you have to learn the language of the mythology you live by. Most people think that [...]
Overcompensation storytime, part 1
It seems common for transgender people to go through a period called “Transgender Overcompensation”. It is a period when one tries to be “right”, to fit in, to “fix oneself” and tries to prove one really belongs to the gender which the biological body and society tries to dictate one into. This often leads to exaggerated behavior. A lot of transgender women go through a phase of “hypermasculinity” before coming to terms with themselves. A famous example is Chelsea Manning, who as Bradley Manning joined the [...]
Who are you?
15 year old Sophie Amundsen came home from school one day and found a mysterious message in the letterbox. The letter had no information on it but only contained one question. It said: “Who are you?”. This is the beginning of the Novel “Sophies World” by Jostein Gaarder, a novel for young readers and an introduction into philosophy. I read the book in the early 90’s when it came out and absolutely loved it. I’ve read it two more times since. It not only satisfied my [...]
Oh hello, Depression, is it you again? Knocking on my mind, trying to get in? I thought I made it clear I won’t let you in anymore. But you keep knocking and knocking until you find a way, using any weakness you can find and you take over my thinking and my heart, covering my whole being with this heavy feeling, heavy as lead. And it burns like fire. You choke out all my joy and happiness, life becomes a grey, dark [...]
Recognizing myself in my own reflection
I just had a shower at the gym. I put on my clothes and fixed my hair in the mirror. After I was done I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. I just keep looking at this new person I see there. It's still the same face I'm used to but it's changing. The hair is longer, the skin finer, there are earrings now and a new nose piercing, the shape is changing a bit, its rounder and softer, the eyelashes are much longer. [...]